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[转载] 我与中国的爱恨情仇

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I will never forget my first day in China. As I stepped outside my hotel room for the very first time, I was hit by a wave of hot humid air.
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9 _& A" p$ E6 p$ l" s, {2 Q( uIt wasn’t the kind of heat that makes you sweat, but the kind that makes you question the level of oxygen in the air. Was there any? It was raining, the air was stuffy, grey, polluted.
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I questioned whether going outside was a good idea, but I was starving, so I decided to push through.
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我怀疑到外面去是不是个好主意,但是我饿了,所以我决定继续前进。6 y! W, q/ w5 a- i# N
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Luckily, I didn’t have to walk far.
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" P1 ]* Y2 \1 E. n: t( f) G8 Z幸运的是,我不用走很远。" N4 [* a" S( T
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There was a sextion of 4-5 different restaurants, just 300m away from the hotel, all of which seemed perfectly suitable for a quick bite to eat.& d  q# p% T  f

; }. |( I/ n  ?& T$ v酒店里有4-5家不同的餐厅,距离酒店只有300米,所有这些餐厅都非常适合快速用餐。
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I didn’t have time to sit down and dine in style, so I opted for take-away.
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我没有时间坐下来体面地用餐,所以我选择了带走吃。. ~; Y0 H5 e: ]3 D) x7 `
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My knowledge of Mandarin at the time was zero, but I knew to look up the word for “take away” in a dictionary before heading out the door.6 d9 G  I$ K0 x/ F. I

' K, f) K3 u% v. J6 z  {  b3 w当时我的普通话知识是零,但我知道在出门之前要在字典里查找“带走”这个词。: Y( V2 P" e5 R, o3 L3 l$ q

! g( b! n6 {3 f, F( f! r" RI walked into a restaurant first and tried my luck with English.
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8 m3 [% W3 ~5 A6 d& H我先走进一家餐馆,试着用英语碰碰运气。! t6 {/ x2 r0 B/ {7 \% U* P
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“Do you speak English?”, I said to a young, attractive, 5ft tall girl at the counter. She looked at me with no change of expression on her face.
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OK. That’s a no then.+ {  W$ S5 F; P: k: X
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I started frantically gesturing at food and bags, trying to mime “I want to take food with me to go”." o* ~1 ]) i8 N) z# S. q: S/ _

: g9 R: w  Z0 [) L; z我开始疯狂地指着食物和袋子,试图模仿“我想带走食物”。
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It wasn’t working.
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但还是没有用。2 |- z0 c* |. ?

0 p1 P& e. n& ]& m; `“Da bao“ (take away in Mandarin) I kept repeating while pointing at the food.
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2 x, l8 [2 ?7 f+ U* L' |“打包”(普通话带走的意思)我一边指着食物,一边不停地说。$ |2 A: U: U" ?$ B
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The next morning I was sick with food poisoning.
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( C$ |  i3 {/ Z第二天早上我因食物中毒而病倒了。
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8 R# J! b% v' A' r5 r3 y  a- HI spent the next 2 days between my bed and my toilet, questioning whether moving to Shanghai was the biggest mistake of my life.
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# {5 j+ D2 _8 [, c6 x+ v( h在接下来的两天里,我在床和厕所之间徘徊,思考着搬到上海是否是我一生中最大的错误。$ K9 T+ U- I( b  c! \& r' d3 f
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Every day in China, I was faced with$ @/ d8 @1 a0 Q# x1 N8 U( r8 b$ ^0 k- n

; u& O7 v, w5 P9 W" i6 U在中国的每一天,我都会面临着其他的挑战。
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Every day was a new struggle adventure, one that often took me from excited to desperate in a span of just a few hours.
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每一天都是一次新的历险,在短短的几个小时内,我就会从兴奋变成了绝望。- w$ j7 c+ W8 N
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At first, the language barrier was the biggest source of my frustrations!
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起初,语言障碍是我挫败感的最大来源!7 l% _: B. _1 j  t6 v% ^& |
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I was told it was possible to get by in Shanghai without Mandarin.
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% [  m0 f7 u/ G$ j- t  W' E) o有人告诉我,在上海不会普通话也可以生活。) `, _2 D* W3 Q, _) e
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I was to stick to touristy areas, go to Western shops, restaurants and clubs, and hang out with other expats.8 \. N1 V7 c6 J6 ]" V9 t

' X# Q# Z8 j% D! A) I6 @我可以去旅游区,去西方的商店,餐馆和俱乐部,和其他外国人一起玩。& V' t2 N2 b' y  x0 y7 ^( J/ e- L
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After all, this was exactly how many other expats had survived in Shanghai for years!
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% E' q& i* U1 P$ zI tried to follow their advice in the first few weeks, but I quickly realized that it wasn’t going to work.4 N. Q! ]+ v% _$ ~4 V, |

& W. n& N" p; |" M在最初的几个星期里,我试图遵循他们的建议,但我很快意识到这是行不通的。
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- c5 }9 h+ n  Y; C# y+ G4 JOnce I was settled in, I started to need want more! I wanted to explore local areas, eat all sorts of weird and new dishes at hole-in-the-wall restaurants, and discover the city beyond the major sights and tourist attractions.
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一旦我安顿下来,就开始有更多的需求!我想探索当地的风土人情,在破旧的餐馆里品尝各种各样的新奇菜肴,在主要景点和旅游景点之外探索这座城市。0 W5 b& J2 p9 W# o
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I soon realized that in a society that was so different from North America, the ability to speak the local language was essential!
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8 w; K. S2 E* Q6 H我很快意识到,在一个与北美如此不同的社会里,说当地语言的能力是必不可少的!  y/ Z9 o/ w6 U. ]4 g2 M* E
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So I signed up for private Mandarin classes.7 X) E: s) |& O" ^- F( u1 U1 O: X

, C7 v, X1 B% R  r* g4 }' e所以我报名参加了私人汉语课程。
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In just a few months, I was able order food, get around, go shopping, keep up a basic conversation, and feel like a self-sufficient member of society.
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It made the world of a difference!
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Equipped with the basic knowledge of Mandarin, I became more curious and adventurous, pushing myself to explore Shanghai beyond the tourist sights and expat hangout areas.' n2 m) ]% p$ @2 ^
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& [3 f# ^  i  h) d# v! g9 ^3 H- sWhen I finally gave up taxis and discovered the world of public transport, I was faced with what later became one of my biggest
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2 d. ?" Y; V5 R1 N  ~2 ~当我最终舍弃出租车,使用公共交通时,我面临着最大的问题之一。
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1 h) B) D6 e3 W7 E6 [China pet peeves: THE QUEUES …or rather the complete lack thereof.
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中国讨厌的事情:排队......或者说完全没有排队。3 d( d, L3 c3 Z& I! T
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Everyone seemed civilized and polite when they stood in 2 perfect lines awaiting the train arrival, but the second the train stopped at the platform, all manners would go out the window.. K* m4 B$ I$ e' I' t
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等待火车到达的时候,他们排成两列。每个人看起来都很文明和礼貌,但火车一停在站台上,所有的礼貌都会消失。; Z, N/ ~1 t. Q! _8 `6 Y& X: D7 a1 l+ I

( o8 n9 m8 S$ w" RIf you didn’t push and shove your way into the train without letting the others exist first, you’d get trampled over by the crowd.( t$ D8 i4 v, n2 l( P

" J; Y: Y( e, v5 \& v/ K除非你让其他人先上,否则你会被推着挤进火车,会被人群踩死。
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For the longest time I couldn’t get over how rude Chinese were, but with time, I learned that this and many other differences were just a part of their culture.
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I wasn’t going to change their ways, so I had to adapt mine.
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2 ^3 y# z3 x0 i* `我不打算改变他们的方式,所以我必须改变我的方式。
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A few months after my arrival, I rented an apartment that I shared with an American drama student and a Chinese IT developer.
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在我到达几个月后,我租了一套公寓,和一个美国戏剧系的学生以及一个中国IT开发人员合住。& X* B# `3 `7 m; s7 T6 {

( x* z8 \5 n7 ~6 c, pWe bought kitchen wares, linens, adopted a kitten and called it our home.3 _. E# S! Z% O+ Z; F7 i
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6 M; Q9 w, \2 F. FWe hired an “ayi” (literally translated as auntie a.k.a maid) that helped us clean the house and cooked the most incredible meals for the price of just a few dollars.
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我们雇了一个“阿姨”(字面意思是女佣),帮我们打扫房间,花几美元就能做出最好吃的饭菜。5 X7 B4 E0 o& R4 X" C2 a# c
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I loved ayi. Not because she eliminated the house chores, but because she helped me experience Chinese food culture.
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) d7 B( }/ l7 n8 }我喜欢阿姨,不是因为她让我省去了做家务,而是因为她帮我体验了中国的饮食文化。
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Ayi didn’t know how to cook burgers or make pasta, but she would make the best g?n bi?n sìjì dòu (Sichuan style fried beans), táng cù páig? (sweet and sour pork ribs) and x?hóngshì ch?o dàn (tomato scrambled eggs).; o7 o1 V0 w! l- u3 |
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阿姨不会做汉堡,也不会做意大利面,但是她会做最好吃的四川炒豆、(糖醋排骨)和(西红柿炒蛋)。9 h+ f. b6 l6 S: b/ w
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Eating in Shanghai was an affair of its own.# X6 \. p" X: r0 ]0 B6 t8 G7 \: o
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3 U4 o, T- p( `/ L  ZBetween hundreds of amazing (and easy on the wallet) restaurants with cuisine from all over the world, small hole-in-the-wall Chinese diners, and mouth-watering street food, there was never a shortage of great eats.
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For me, no other food scene will ever compare to the food scene in Shanghai. (Bold statement, I know!)
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; U/ B5 w  f9 R0 b. y对我来说,没有任何其他美食城市能与上海相提并论。# _# I" h6 V! {, j# p
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I used to love spending my weekends roaming around Shanghai. I was living and working there, but I felt like I was still a backpacker.
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! [  t. q+ G9 k我过去喜欢在上海周围漫步度过周末。在那里生活和工作,但我感觉自己仍然是一个背包客。
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5 m! z3 s- |( t6 WTraveling, exploring, learning.) @; F- O3 R. l: L- p- @
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There was something on every night of the week! New restaurants were popping up on every street corner, each one more delicious than the next.% a% \% v1 G* H
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Wednesdays were ladies night at Zapatas, where free margaritas would flow until midnight and the party would go on until 5am.3 a( D# f* C# a. n

8 s; S0 z7 C) x0 |3 Z9 M周三是Zapatas的女士之夜,免费的玛格丽塔鸡尾酒会一直持续到午夜,持续到凌晨5点。
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Thursday was free manicures and free drinks at Bar Rouge.6 u. n  C3 d% R& s- A

; x& N1 J9 v3 X+ H5 B星期四是免费的美甲和免费的饮料。. i# W6 y% G3 d
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On Friday’s swanky after-work bars were filled with young attractive expat men and Saturdays were spent rubbing shoulders with models at VIP tables at M1NT.
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周五下班后酒吧里挤满了年轻的外国男人,周六则是在M1NT的VIP桌前与模特们摩肩接踵。5 T+ P7 _7 R- S/ I

6 j- Q: r# ?! g' p3 t8 fSomewhere between Yongkang Lu and Yongfu Lu, between the best street food, the next free cocktail, and that cute guy chatting me up on the curb outside of The Apartment bar.4 [( M4 D9 z& Q" q: ]2 q# K5 N+ e
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在永康路和永福路之间的某个地方,有最好的街边小吃和下一杯免费的鸡尾酒,还有那个在公寓酒吧外面和我搭讪的帅哥。; ?% A1 v' ~% S# u6 o; o$ ^2 `! d

0 A5 g# \4 ?& e8 u. t9 ?; v! dI used to look around at my life and feel incredibly lucky to be young and single in the city, as alive and vibrant as Shanghai!# J7 A; I! n" h2 s' f# s8 A! z( Z. n
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! ]( f/ c1 ]* n, |$ V4 A# RBut after a while, the party life lost its appeal.! c' X& O7 t2 K' G2 j8 {

# F: c3 M5 z; q1 _. q  B% U但过了一段时间,派对生活对我失去了吸引力。% y, [" ]- _5 g/ l
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The expat community started to feel too small.
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+ B% U( i- F4 D# U/ J& o4 V, ?  F9 K我作为一个外籍人士开始觉得自己太渺小了。
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* h( y9 D# L5 AIn the city of 14 million people, the 300,000 foreigners all seemed to somehow know each other.
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在这个拥有1400万人口的城市里,30万外国人似乎都互相认识。2 a. i/ u: l; v5 ?- v8 }  q2 U
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At times, it was just like living back in Canada, in the small town of Waterloo, where everyone went to the same bars, hung out with the same people, and had the same terrible luck in dating.
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- ^+ V1 F( s6 |$ {8 m; k# }有时候,这就像回到加拿大,在滑铁卢的小镇上,每个人都去同一家酒吧,和同样的人一起出去,在约会中也有同样的倒霉事。
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Here, every other weekend, you were invited to a good-bye party. One by one, my friends would throw in the towel and call it quits.
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% H4 U! s; x" D! M0 Q在这里,每隔一个周末,你就会被邀请参加一个告别派对。我的朋友们会一个接一个地认输,然后退出。4 p+ {0 B) ^4 Z9 V" L6 @  H0 |8 h
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Some moved elsewhere in Asia, while others packed up their bags and moved back to their home towns in Europe or North America.2 y  W7 d6 {9 N8 [9 Y; h
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一些人搬到了亚洲的其他地方,而另一些人则收拾行李回到了他们在欧洲或北美的家乡。- ~. z+ x0 u3 L; z
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There were new people arriving every week, but after a while, I no longer had the interest nor the desire to go through any more friendship cycles.
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每周都有新朋友到来,但过了一段时间,我不再有兴趣也不想再经历更多的友谊周期了。7 E6 c1 V7 j  |+ {, q1 L  x3 V
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After 8 months of fascination and adoration of life in Shanghai, my love for the city started to fade.8 O/ I& Z& f2 c  s: E3 E- Z* g1 E
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: a. R# J  P9 O3 G# ^9 kThe cultural differences made for great stories, the horrid dating stories taught me some valuable lessons, and my experience traveling through rural China pushed me to become the traveler that I am today: patient, adventurous, respectful, and curious." G3 Q, H) F1 l- W

7 x3 g0 w1 K5 U5 [' D$ T3 p1 @文化差异造就了伟大的故事,可怕的约会故事教会了我一些宝贵的经验,我在中国乡村旅行的经历促使我成为今天的旅行者:耐心、冒险、尊重和好奇。# z6 w+ v2 G4 F7 M. c, V
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And for that, I will always be grateful to China!
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为此,我将永远感谢中国!6 v5 @) G, @5 Y5 ]

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4 H( r" S* v* c- i" S评论翻译. X5 A1 L0 `. R, F9 a) [" c
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dan perry
: M% A7 t3 X- I3 x4 pthanks for the interesting article! I was just in Shanghai for two days and liked it more than I thought I would. I can only imagine the highs and lows of living there for as long as you did.
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谢谢你的有趣文章!我只是在上海呆了两天,我比我想象的更喜欢这里。我只能想象和你一样长时间生活在那里,过着起起伏伏的生活。5 ]' A3 J# C- r3 j
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Glad to hear you enjoyed your visit, Dan. It’s always more enjoyable to visit countries than to live in them. That’s probably why I have struggled to stay in one place for too long!6 P/ B. I5 x3 v  P) q; A" v, [+ F
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( ~9 b: M' K8 x1 T1 ^6 NI so agree with you about those horrible trousers .In fact I have written many posts on our trips to Beijing, toilets, traffic, subway, crowds, but it is a fascinating place.. A# n: y5 G" k5 f
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我非常同意你说的那些可怕的经历。事实上,我已经写了很多关于去北京旅行的帖子,厕所,交通,地铁,人群,但它还是一个迷人的地方。* t1 h# V7 ^. [6 G6 }
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- L9 C: J  t9 g$ nOh Man ! I didn''t know that china is that much awesome, I’ll surely visit it by the end of this year…Nicely portrayed by a beautiful person..Thanks oksana it is very nicely written, Appreciate your effort0 f0 W! S0 |* E; u+ ?$ L1 I' j, a
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7 l# p" i0 z7 r: m- _3 E" MOKSANA | DRINK TEA AND TRAVEL0 c- B* ]' f2 g# G0 g* m
Thank you so much for the kind words, Maaaz! Hope you enjoy your visit and if you need any help planning your trip, feel free to shoot me a message.
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- G+ s! R% z# c" ~1 ]: H& T6 N6 f4 u非常感谢你的美言,Maaaz!希望你能喜欢你的旅行,如果你需要任何帮助,请随时给我发信息。9 h% {8 E- L" |7 ^0 {7 Z6 o
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JONNY DUNCAN1 O7 d( \- H* B, R8 v
I have never lived in China but am currently on my 2nd visit. I love it here. The food is absolutely amazing, especially after a few months of a monotonous diet in Central Asia. Combined with Japan (my favourite country) I know that East Asia is where I will spend most of my time in the months to come. Was interesting reading about what it was like living there.
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我从未在中国生活过,但现在是我第二次来中国。我喜欢这里。这里的食物绝对美味,尤其是在中亚地区经过几个月单调的饮食之后。再加上日本(我最喜欢的国家),我知道在接下来的几个月里,我将把大部分时间花在东亚。读到住在那里的经历感觉很有趣。: _) C7 X0 ~9 k% o# p; a
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$ y, V8 C& F3 A9 e2 k2 aI’ve been living in China for a few years, and I too have a love-hate relationship with the place. I do agree it’s really important to learn Chinese if you’re going to live here. You don’t have to be fluent, but speaking a little will help you feel more comfortable exploring all that China has to offer. As for the expat community, I’m actually not a huge fan of Shanghai. I much prefer Beijing or the tier-two cities. Expats in Shanghai seem much less interested in integrating themselves into Chinese culture and make almost no effort to learn Chinese. In Beijing, we all studied Chinese and had Chinese friends, and we were much more committed to staying in China.' h: l: |; `; R0 P
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我已经在中国生活了几年,我对这个地方也是爱恨交加。我同意如果你要住在这里,学习中文是非常重要的。你不必说一口流利的英语,但是说一点英语会让你在探索中国所能提供的一切时感到更加自在。至于外籍人士,我并不是上海的超级粉丝。我更喜欢北京或二线城市。在上海的外籍人士似乎对融入中国文化不太感兴趣,几乎没有努力学习中文。在北京,我们都学习中文,有中国朋友,我们更想留在中国。8 N2 q1 H# x. N6 W- K

9 ?# A, Y/ P/ C2 S' Z7 @1 XOKSANA | DRINK TEA AND TRAVEL5 k! d3 n1 U3 W) r; {0 z3 u" X
You are probably right, Richelle! I met a few expats from Chengdu and Shenzhen and Kunming during my time in China and they did seem a lot more ingrained into local life. It’s easy to live in Shanghai and pretend like you are still back home and many expat do exactly that.
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5 D% ]& w( `9 @* i5 }* ]4 P8 rCHRIS3 c- c. f6 E; r" t' A7 T
It definitely felt like the more westernised a city, the less connected the expat population were to the locals. Nanjing wasn’t far from Shanghai, but even it had a pretty clear divide between locals and expats. The few locals you did interact with tended to be those who specifically sought our foreign bars/clubs.
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0 v# A0 r- w4 Q3 ^: D+ e( n' l, \That’s a great article – I haven’t been to the Chinese mainland but I have been to Macau and was surprised at how many smokers there were in the casinos!/ z$ L, f, H8 m* F$ i& d
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这是一篇很棒的文章——我没有去过中国大陆,但我去过澳门,我惊讶于du场里有那么多的吸烟者!: y! X* Q" a7 D8 Q

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' }" T0 t, }& |) n: m+ Q3 oYes, same is true for the mainland. Shanghai wasn’t that bad. The expat bars seemed to prohibit it, but as soon as you stepped foot in a local bar/club you were wrapped in a cloud of smoke.7 {+ j" |: |* ~/ H2 N6 L5 l( H2 l
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( {" t% I* t! r2 r+ m' T: uSHANKAR BRO
8 D9 E, u$ v- \: q& x* M) sSuch a well-written post, and great photos too. We read this and kept stopping every few sentences to be like, “that’s dead-on!”.+ Z1 h* u2 L: S% r% t; r" X
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  S6 O9 d. y: f- sdenise
* x) A/ E  a# ?: C0 S' ~I think it’s great that you moved on when the love started fading. I feel like a lot of foreigners hang around in a country even when they stop loving it and everything gets on their nerves. They get grumpy and jaded, and act as if a whole culture should change to accommodate them. They can’t, so it’s better to move on!
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3 I# J2 m, C4 Z+ W6 W我觉得当爱开始褪色时离开是对的。有很多外国人在一个国家逗留,即使他们不再喜欢这个国家,一切都让他们心烦意乱。他们变得脾气暴躁、疲惫不堪,表现得好像整个文化都应该改变以适应他们。他们做不到,只能向前看!6 p0 |! w& p  Q, {3 [. @- h

: A0 |/ B  s7 V! U: Q1 d4 GYou are absolutely right, Denise. I knew a few people in Shanghai who were like that. I didn’t want to become grumpy and jaded as well. I wanted to remember Shanghai and China with found memories and have that desire to go back. And I’m glad I did. Now I really look forward to going back to visit and explore more!
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4 p& |2 O( X( R- x& B6 W你说得对,Denise。我在上海认识几个这样的人。我不想变得脾气暴躁,疲惫不堪。我想用找到的记忆来回忆上海和中国,并渴望回到过去。我很高兴我做到了。现在我真的很期待回去探索更多!
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DANIEL MCBANE' v2 v3 b/ G* F
I lasted two years in Shanghai before I got frustrated with many of the same aspects of life you mentioned. Once I left though, I quickly started to forget about those and mostly just remembered the good things about China.. w2 C6 R5 i( i+ V
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7 l  L% x! `! p; uIt’s funny you say that Daniel, because I feel the same way. Now that I’ve been out of China for over a year I miss it… a lot! And I also mostly just remember the good stuff. This post really took me down the memory lane as well, I forced myself to remember the “bad stuff”. But I had to do it to paint the true picture of my life there.But, honestly, despite all the frustrations, if a chance came up to live in China again, I would probably take it.  S3 I4 e9 F2 R2 V  [( z
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" i+ f2 m7 T8 m" j1 \: d) wThanks Oksana,I will check out the blog and I am looking forward to your Lijiang post! Safe travels' ~5 x7 u# j8 p; b2 M, ^
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谢谢你,Oksana,我会去看看你的博客,期待你的丽江帖子!一路平安: N$ G; q" s; U! u' A, J, H
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Hope your visit to China was filled with many wonderful memories as well!0 P( W3 |) I3 n8 e: e1 \
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/ L5 |2 u- P* ^& ^: tI’ve been longing to visit Shanghai for years, especially when my father started telling me about his life there as a little boy in the 1930s. Obviously the Shanghai of today is unrecognisable compared to how it was then but I know some of the places he told me about such as Bubbling Well Road, where he was born, and Jessfield Park are still there albeit with different names. I’ll get there one day and thanks, Oksana, for the heads-up on what it is like now!" y2 [* A& y  T, _9 Y$ E

( E, x& _5 R; N3 F/ D5 G多年来,我一直渴望去上海旅游,尤其是当我父亲向我讲述,他在上世纪30年代还是个小男孩时在那里生活过。显然,今天的上海与当时相比已经无法辨认了,但我知道他告诉的一些地方,比如他出生的静安寺路(上海),以及杰斯菲尔德公园仍然在那里,但名字有所不同。总有一天我会去的,Oksana,谢谢你告诉我现在是什么样子!
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+ C2 W9 n: f8 hYou are very welcome, Kathryn. Glad you enjoyed the post! You would definitely enjoy visiting Shanghai after hearing your father’s stories. It would be great trip down memory lane. Hope you make it over there sooner rather than later. The city is changing faster than you could imagine.
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不客气,Kathryn。很高兴你喜欢这篇文章!听了你父亲的故事后,你一定会很喜欢去上海的。这将是一次很棒的记忆之旅。希望你能尽快赶到那里。这个城市的变化速度超乎你的想象。( I0 P" V0 d! ^! I% A" k/ l, C( G
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