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美国人再熟也不肯借钱?看美国网民怎么解释


译者:unknown     发布时间:2017-01-14     超过 0 位网友阅读

美国人因为其文化,所以他们很客观。朋友不会借钱给别的朋友,甚至也不会经常向家里借钱

原文地址:https://www.quora.com/I-really-dont-understand-the-American-culture-I-knew-somebody-for-22-years-I-asked-if-she-could-lend-me-200-for-4-days-and-she-refused-Why/answer/Brendan-Donegan


We knew each other in college talked about what classes to take which companies to apply to how our jobs were and our life and career path. Two years ago I asked if she can lend me US$200 for 4 days. She refused saying if it is "substantial" amount she can't (she won't).

我们在大学时期结识,我们一起讨论选什么课,申请什么公司以及我们的工作,我们的生活和职业生涯会是什么样的。两年前,我问她是否可以借给我200美元4天。她拒绝了,说,如果借款数额是“大量的”,她不能(她不会)借。

美国文化





Brendan Donegan
Written Nov 8
If you knew her for 22 years since you were in college you must be at least 40. If you’re 40 years old in America and have no formal line of credit then you must be pretty bad with money/in a bad situation financially (I’m not judging). So asking for $200 from someone raises suspicion (why can’t this person just borrow the money in a normal way?)
FWIW I’m half-American half-Irish and live in the UK. There’s no way I’d lend a friend anything over £20 and that only for a very brief period of time for a good reason - such as they need cash as the establishment they want to use doesn’t take cards I have it and they don’t and going to a cash machine would be an unnecessary inconvenience. In that situation I’d expect it back at the earliest opportunity.
The only time I provided large sums of money to anyone is in the case of family recently I gave my brother ~$250 for a rental deposit. I don’t expect it back but I don’t care. If I lent a ‘friend’ $250 and they didn’t give it back I would care - as that person would be taking advantage of our friendship and not be a true friend.

从大学起你们认识22年了,那你至少40岁。你在美国40岁还没有正常的信用额度,那你真的穷死了,财务状况超差(我不是在评价)。所以问别人借200美元真的很让人怀疑(为什么这个人不通过正常渠道借钱呢?)。

无论如何,我有一半美国血统一半爱尔兰血统,现居英国。别人想问我借超过20镑的东西那是门都没有,除非时间很短且有充足理由,比如他们要现金他们要搞的东西不能刷卡或者我有他们没有且去一个自动提款机麻烦又没必要。那种情况下我会借,但一有机会我就会要回来。

我唯一一次借出的大笔金额是给家人,最近我给我兄弟250美元交租金押金。我没想要回来,我也不在乎。但如果是借给“朋友”250美元他们又不还的话我就会很在乎——这种人只是在利用你们的友情,根本就不是朋友。



Ankit Sud
Ankit Sud1 vote by Elizabeth Jamieson
Its a cultural thing Americans are very impersonal people. Friends dont lend friends money even families often wont ask for or lend money. I have lent around $1000 to a friend. I can really not imagine the same happening in US.

美国人因为其文化,所以他们很客观。朋友不会借钱给别的朋友,甚至也不会经常向家里借钱。我已经借给朋友1000美元。我真的很难想象同样的事发生在美国。



Iheanyi Umez-Eronini3 votes Show
Maybe it's cultural. The amount I'd lend a close friend is only limited by what I can afford to lend. If it could afford $5 or $5000 I'd do it. That said while there are plenty of people I've known for 20+ years including family the number I'd lend to under those circumstances can be counted on my fingers. I have noticed that non Americans tend to over estimate the friendship of Americans.

可能这是文化的原因。我借钱给好朋友仅仅只是我能承担的数量。如果这能支付5美元或者5000美元的话,我就这样做。我认识20多年的人,其中包括我借钱给他们的人,用手指都能数的清。我注意到非美国人倾向于高估美国人的友谊。



Kenny Mack3 votes Show
Before reading this I had never seen the phrase “half-American”. Interesting

在我阅读这个之前我从没见过“半美国”这样的短语。有趣。



H. Nellene1 vote by Paul Deming
I once loaned a friend $2000 because she was experiencing some job issues and was also in danger of losing her house*. It seemed like the right thing to do.
She repaid $100 (with prompting) and then I never heard from her again. Although I do see from her Facebook page that her family routinely goes out to dinner and even went on a mission trip to a foreign country last year.

我曾经借给一个朋友2000美元,因为她遇到了一些工作问题,也有失去她房子的危险。这似乎是正确的事情。她还了我100美元(提醒之后)然后我再也没有她的消息。虽然我从她的脸书页面看到她的家人经常出去外面吃饭,甚至去年去了海外旅行。

It was an expensive lesson but I will NEVER loan more than about $20 again. Instead I will help someone find more conventional lenders — which now includes micro-loan websites and the like. I wish I’d had the sense to do that in the first place.
*so she said; I’m not sure I buy that anymore

这是一次昂贵的教训,但是我再也不会借出超过20美元。相反我会帮助别人找到更常见的贷款人——现在包括小额贷款网站等。我多希望我第一次就有这么做的觉悟。
*所以她说;我不确定我不再买那个了。 (这句话是不是放错地方了啊??)



John Smith2 votes Show
In my case it heavily depends on the person. Also somewhat on the circumstances. For example I have a friend and former coworker who I will regularly loan cash ammounts up to $500 to. I know he will pay me bay incrementally and typically with a bit of make up. He is just impulsive with cash when he has it but earns a substantial enough income that being so doesn't make him insolvent.
I have another friend who I know had a couple if really rough weeks. I also know that his base bi-weekly compensation is in the $4500 range however between having pipes freeze in his basement during a cold snap a minor car crash being in the midst of some renovations on his home (part of why the pipes froze) with maxing his IRA and having a computer die all in the same time period he was very cash tight for a few days. I gladly loaned him the couple hundred he needed.
It was simply a case of him not having his typical amount of steady cash on hand due to the renovations and IRA. Then he purchased a new computer with a big part of his emergency fund when his old one died. With the pipes and insurance deductible on the crash he was short and it just didn't make sense for me to let him get charged the fees and interest at a payday place nor would it have really made sense for him to try and clear money from investment accounts in the 3 business days and weekend in between when he realized things were going to be stupid tight with his finances before his paycheck. i also knew the guy for years and his biggest vice is probably spending to much on video and RPG games.
Another guy though who I know makes roughly $40 per hour doesn't receive loans of more than 20 . he is just two irresponsible with money.

如果是我的话多半还是看人,看情况吧。举个栗子我有一个朋友,他是我前同事,我日常给他借款,最高有500刀。我知道他会逐渐还我,通常还带点利息。他有钱的时候就会用得很冲动,还好他收入不少所以不会破产。

我另一个朋友,他们两口子有几周过得很困难。他的基础补贴是每两周4500刀,但是有段时间他们家又是地下室水管冻结又是装修的房子被小车撞(部分水管冻结的原因)又要充值退休账户(交养老保险?)个人电脑也挂了,那段时间什么事都撞到一起来了,他也过得很紧张。我借了他好几百刀。

这是一个简单的例子。由于装修和养老保险,他手头没有稳定的现金流。旧电脑挂了之后他动用了很大一部分紧急基金买一个新电脑。水管被撞保险赔付之后他也没啥钱了,我问他要钱也没意义。他也试过利用三个工作日和周末的时间把投资账户里的钱提出来,后来他意识到在他发工资之前都会很紧张,所以这也没意义。我知道这么多年来这家伙最大的坏习惯可能就是在视频和RPG游戏上花太多钱了。

还有一个,大概是40刀的时薪但还贷绝不超过20,我只能说太没有责任感了。



Steve Dong7 votes Show
Well as a Chinese live in US I realized the big difference in culture too.
In our culture good friends usually mean you know everything of each other: annual income debt credit score property value all family members friends. So when we borrow or lend money the credit is how well we know each other.
It is very common to see people borrowing a few thousand dollars from close friends. I used to borrow 10k USD from a friend for 5 months to pay off my car. And another friend of me still owes me 7k USD for 6 months my girlfriend owes me 2k. We don’t even write a thing down on the paper for record (I knew sometimes it is not good). I am not rich at all I only have about 2k deposit left in my bank account but if my good friend need it I will let it go without any hesitation.
It is true that there are a lot problems that people cheat their friends for big amount of money especially after China became capitalized. But our tradition had been like that for thousands of years.

好吧,作为生活在美国的中国人,我也发现了巨大的文化差异。
以我们的文化,好朋友通常指彼此互相熟知:年工资、负债、信誉程度、资产价值、家庭成员以及朋友。所以,当我们借别人钱或者借钱给别人,彼此的信誉程度都是非常清楚的。

借给好朋友几千块钱是很常见的事。我朋友曾经借给我1万美元5个月来买车。我借给我另一个朋友7000美元6个月了,我女朋友欠我2000块美元。我们甚至都不写欠条(我知道有时候不写欠条不好)。我并不是多有钱,我银行账户里只有2000块,但是当我朋友有需要时,我还是会毫不犹豫的借给他们。

特别是自从中国资本化后,有人会为了巨款而欺骗好友。但是,我们这个传统都传承了几千年,(我们还是会借钱给好朋友)。



Thing Two1 vote by Hunter Crosby
Wow that’s a bit odd. I haven’t lent anything over 50 but I know my mom lends money like crazy as long as she feels like she knows you. She gave her brother 15000 to get his license in something a couple years back. He still hasn’t paid it up but she trusts him and is willing to drop it if he truly cant pay up (don’t ask she’s super religious- whatever god wills is what will happen sort of thing). ***U.S. by the way & there is no “formal” borrowing from banks and whatnot since it has interest which is forbidden in our religion.

哇,那可有点古怪了。我从来没借出过50美元以上,不过我老妈可就疯狂多了,只要她觉的她了解你,她就会借。几年前她给了她兄弟一万五千刀,以帮助他考证。她的兄弟还没有还钱,但是她觉的如果真的还不出来,也没关系。(无需多问,她特别有信仰,认为发生的事情都是上帝的旨意)。还有,我们那里无法从银行或者相关金融机构获得“正式”贷款,因为贷款有利息,而我们的宗教是禁止利息的。。



Anton Kovalenko
This is an excellent answer. North America is a place where credits are abundant even for people with bad credit history. They are so easy to get that really asking someone for a loan like discribed could only be for a reason of taking advantage of the lender's trust and a strange request to hear from a self-sufficient responsible person.

这真是一个极好的答案。北美是一个信用泛滥的地方,即便是对那些有不良信用记录的人。所以要得到贷款其实很容易的,而像上文所提到的那样向某人借款这可能是在利用借出者的信任,而一个自足负责任的人是不应该这样借钱的。



Doyle Johnson1 vote by Ava Grego
Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Pretty good advice to remain friends.

既不借朋友的钱也不借给朋友钱,挺好的保持友情的建议。



Kurt Hammond
You must not know her as well as you think. If I knew someone for 22 years and they asked me for $200 I’d probably just give it to them.

你肯定不像你想象的那样和她熟识,如果我有个认识了22年的朋友找我借200美元,我肯定二话不说就借给他了。



Victor Kovyrshin
I see what you’re saying about credit and everything. I won’t not borrow money to most of the people I know. However.. If I can call someone “Best Friend” I will simply give needed amount. No question asked. No return expected. You don’t need to be in 40s to know someone for 22 years. I know some of my friends for 20+yeards and my 27th birthday was couple weeks ago. Talking about about amount It depends on your age and income. Since I’m not expecting any money back I won’t give more then I’m willing to “lose” but even being 27 years old it’s way more then $250.

我了解了你说的关于你的信用和所有事情,大多数我认识的人我都不会借给他们钱,但是如果我可以把一个人叫“最好的朋友”我会直接给他他需要的数额,不问他也不期待他还。(你不需要在40岁的时候认识一个人22年)?,我认识一个朋友20多年了而我27岁生日就在两周之前。我们说起了借钱的数量这件事取决于你的年龄和收入。自从我不期待借出的钱能回来之后我不会给人超过(把than写成then了?)我愿意“丢”的钱,但是尽管我27岁这个数量也比250美元多多了。



Jim Fitz
I'm American n have no prob lending a friend I've known n stayed in touch with for 22$ as much as I could without risking financial probs for myself unless they have addictions (drugsgambling…). But I know people who won't lend $ to friends because they don't want it to ruin the friendship. N then some people are cheap. I think it's like that everywhere on earth. Not a US thing

我是一个美国人,如果是借给一个我认识的并长期保持联系的朋友我觉得没问题,我可以借给他22美元,这样我就不会有任何损失的风险,当然(借给)吸毒赌博的除外。但是我知道人们不喜欢借钱给朋友,因为他们不想因为钱而毁了友谊,因为有些人确实挺没品的。我想每个国家应该都是这情况,不光是美国。



Marie Price1 vote by Eric Crowell
My personal policy since no-contract/collateral lenders never see a dime back & I don't mix money with friendship: make it clear it's a gift or say no.

我个人的原则是:没有契约/抵押物,就别想要回一毛钱,我从不把金钱和友谊混为一谈。要么直接送给他,要么说不。



Sam Letunovskiy1 vote by Carol Mark
Okay then what kind of friend does that make you? If you can't trust your own friend to pay you back even $250? It doesn't make you a friend at all.

 那么你交的都是些啥朋友啊?如果你一点都不信任你的朋友,认为他们连250美元都会赖你的账,那根本就谈不上是朋友关系。


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