用户名:   密码:



译者:unknown     发布时间:2013-06-24     超过 0 位网友阅读



If I'm honest with myself I know the problem isn't China, it's me. Back in the US I had stability and the threat of repercussions to keep me in check. Here in China I can do whatever I want.
I'm posting this because I hope some of you can relate to it and give me your advice. If you want to just call me an asshole, I understand.
For most of my life I've been a decent guy. A few slip ups here and there, but overall I've treated people well and don't have a lot of badness in me.
Two years ago my employer offered me the chance to live and work in China. My girlfriend couldn't come with me, but we are still together. She's a great girl and wants to marry me when I eventually return home. My work contract will finish next year.
I've always enjoyed a few beers, but back home I would eat well and hit the gym a few times a week, so overall I was a healthy guy. I had a successful career and everything seemed to be going well. Most importantly, I really liked me.
I now fully hate myself. I've turned into a guy who objectifies women, drinks too much alcohol and neglects his health.
I have three girlfriends. One is the great girl back home, one is a Chinese girl, and one is a Japanese girl. I constantly cheat on these women. Part of my job requires me to travel to various factories throughout China. I have girls in all of these cities, and if they aren't around I have sex with prostitutes in the hotels I stay at. I never use condoms unless required to do so. The Japanese girlfriend got pregnant and had to have an abortion. Luckily I have not caught a STI yet but I know it's only a matter of time unless I can get my shit together.
I know my actions are deplorable. I know I should cut back on the drinking, start eating better and join the gym. I know I should probably break up with all the girls (even though it will break their hearts and mine) and definitely should start using condoms, but there is something in me which stops me from doing this.
I don't know what is wrong with me. Sex addiction? Probably. Alcoholic? I don't think so, but I can see I have a problem with alcohol. Nearly all the sex/cheating happens when I'm drunk.
Can any of you relate to any of this?
TL;DR Since I've come to China I'm constantly having sex and relationships with multiple women, drinking too much alcohol, and neglecting my health. Please help me stop doing this.





[–]wiseduckling 13 points 2 days ago
If you are sleeping with that many prostitutes it is likely that you have something like HPV. It is not tested for in men and, while being usually harmless in men, it can cause cervical cancer for women. Also don't forget about the incubation period for certain diseases.
You can't sleep with a hooker on monday, get a clean test result on tuesday and sleep with your girlfriend on wednesday without risking giving her something.
Drinking too much doesn't make you an asshole. Sleeping with a lot of women doesn't either. Treating them like shit and risking their health however does make you a prick.
But yes, I have seen a lot of foreigners turn into bigger and bigger assholes since they have arrived.

[–]Laspimon 11 points 2 days ago
I'd say you need to put yourself through something rough. I suggest telling your girlfriend back home what you have done, tell her you're sorry and face the consequences. You might learn something about yourself, doing that.
If you don't have the balls to do that, at least break up with her. She deserves better, if she is patiently waiting back home.
Also, you are not helping the image of other white people. I know that Chinese generalizing about us is a problem on their part, but - as they taught us when we were young - when going to a foreign country, you automatically act the ambassador of your country/race. Don't shame it.

[–]redforevaLos Angeles  Shanghai 19 points 2 days ago*
Well not really, you were always this kind of person, it's just that staying in China allowed you to become this person.
You ever watched Breaking Bad before? Yeah, it's kinda like that.
Cut the relationships (except for the one back home) and industrial grade paint thinner alcohol by the way, well unless you plan to stay in China forever. cue typical english teacher joke

[–]lordnikkon Miami  Beijing 6 points 2 days ago
i agree with this, it is not that you were a nice guy back home and became a prick when you came to china. It is that you were always a prick and coming to china has allowed you to show your true colors. At least now the OP can recognize who he is and try to change himself, here in china you have no one to keep you in check but yourself unlike back home.
Also you are not a unique and beautiful snowflake that you think you are, half the expats in china end up with stories just like yours. Life is short do what you want but at least dont ruin other peoples lives. Pick the girl you like being with and break up with the others. If you still want to fuck around find a chinese girl that will accept her bf fucks around, you would be surprised how many girls will accept this in china. Being a prick is one thing but being a liar and a cheat is much worse, if you want to live the womanizing lifestyle then get rid of the girlfriends or come clean about what your are doing

[–]Uberche Vancouver  Beijing 3 points 2 days ago
Every white guy in China has the option to do this. You have two choices, exercise restraint or if you can't, go home. If you stay and don't exercise restraint you'll end up witha disease and no girl. Make your choice.

[–]MakingMoves_ 1 point 1 day ago
I said no to a smoking Chinese girl who was all up on me trying and trying to kiss me while I was dog-shit wasted to practice my self-restraint. It got easier practicing restraint in any life situation after that one... self-discipline is a muscle...you have to work it out and don't tell me you don't have it in you.
回复楼上:实行自我克制简直是白费,对诱人的、天天缠着要向你献吻的中国女孩,我说:NO。你拒绝她以后再行锻炼自己的克制力就容易了... 自我约束如同需要锻炼的肌肉... 别告诉我,你连这点能耐也没有。

[–]redforevaLos Angeles  Shanghai 1 point 1 day ago
Exactly, i've had the same situation happen to me, well she was smoking hot instead though.

[–]iwazaruu 7 points 2 days ago
The only thing stopping you is your lack of willpower.

[–]manwithoutaguitar 4 points 2 days ago
Nope, I can't relate, I'm sorry. Back home I didn't know what to do with my life. I graduated from a good uni but it made me into an incredible lazy person. Everything was so easy, I didn't know what to do with my free time, played to much computer games. I went to China, saw how the Chinese studied and now I'm an absolute addict. Not to sex like you, but to studying Chinese. I'm a freak. I can study for 12 hours straight before I realize I didn't eat yet. I don't go clubbing as I don't like the girls over there and hardly have any money to do so anyway.

[–]wiseduckling 3 points 2 days ago
Well if you study Chinese for 12 hours straight I think you much more of a unique foreigner than OP hehe. Props to you though, I wish I could. I can't study for more than an hour or two straight :(
回复楼上:你连续12小时的学中文啊,我认为你比楼主还要更奇特,嘿嘿。俺挺你,我希望我也能。我连一两个小时都坚持不下去。 :(

[–]poo_jin_towel 5 points 2 days ago
I've experienced this. Used to live in a small town with an expat bar where there wasn't much else to do but drink and socialize in the bar. I'd left a girlfriend to come to China, and had had two great relationships with Chinese women, the first ended as she wanted me to get her pregnant and started exhibiting symptoms of crazy. The other died suddenly. I ended up just getting hammered very night and banging any local girl that showed interest, they were numerous.. Some wanted more from me which I feel bad about to this day. Fortunately I had the good sense to get the fuck out of there.. But I don't really know how it came to be that bad.. Loneliness? Sure. Depression? No idea. Alcoholism? Probably.. But damn, man.. Even though I'm still a drinker, I can trace every single fuck up in my life back to booze. Don't really know what to say to you.. But drink less.. Make some friends.. Do some stuff which doesn't involve fucking and drinking.. Guess you're just lonely.
我有类似的个人体会。曾在一个小镇里住过,镇上有个外侨酒吧,除了喝酒与聚会社交,没别的事可干。我把女友丢在老家来到中国,与两个中国女人有过两段很好的感情,第一个女人要我和她一起生个孩子,她出现了不可理喻的苗头,所以和她吹了。另外一个突然就死了。那个晚上,我最终被这消息当头一击,此后排斥任何对我有意的当地女人,这些人数量太多了..最近某些人对我要求更过分,让我难受。好在我明智地从中挣脱了出来..然而我真的不知事情是如何变得如此糟糕的..因为孤独寂寞?是的。抑郁?不靠谱。酗酒?有可能.. 妈的该死,老兄.. 就我这么个酒鬼,我都还能把自己的放浪形骸都归因于酒精。真不知道对你说什么好了..少喝点吧..去交几个朋友..干些别的事情,醇酒妇人除外.. 我猜你只不过是太孤单了。

[–]2orangey4crowsfrom Dublin to Beijing 3 points 2 days ago
I think this is good advice.
I had a period in my life in China where I was a bit lonely. It definitely led to more drinking, and like poo_jin_towel, nearly every fuck up in my life can be traced back to booze too.
You could try doing some volunteer work to help you feel better about yourself. And of course cut back on the booze...

[–]Hopfrogg 2 points 2 days ago
Don't listen to all the "don't beat yourself up".... "it's ok, lots of people go through this phase"... it's a cop out. Also don't listen to the other extreme of people telling you what a scumbag you are who should go fuck himself. Some of those people have shown themselves as scum in different form.
Guess what, you're not the first douchebag to realize, wow, I'm a real douchebag that needs to change his ways! You are experiencing ego death and reaching a maturation level that is allowing you to break through all the psychological defenses that have justified your actions in the past. It's probably going to be a painful time and you're not going to be feeling good about yourself, but you are on your way to becoming a better human being. Just because you have behaved atrociously in the past doesn't make you forever a scumbag, if that were the case then this planet would be 100% full on populated with scumbags. We've all regretted past behaviors, and you have two choices. See it in yourself and improve.... or ignore it, justify it, and continue being a douchbag.
Addressing the problem and having the courage to see yourself in this light is the first step and it is a good sign for you. I hope you do change and become a decent human being. That's the beauty of life, it's about evolving. It's only partly about who you were, it's mostly about who you are.

[–]scumis -3 points 2 days ago
shut up douchebag, before you change... don't give advice you haven't taken yourself.

[–]Hopfrogg 2 points 2 days ago
Did I hit a nerve? Take a cue from OP here and see yourself for what you are. Anyone who hates as much you do, clearly hates himself. I hold out hope for OP, you however are clearly fucking hopeless.

[–]scumis -1 points 2 days ago
go get em tiger

[–]TaikongXiongmaoChicago  Guangzhou 8 points 2 days ago
Holy shit. You have some serious issues dude. /r/China is not the place for you, maybe /r/relationships or/r/depression.
额滴神呐。老兄你的问题严重了。/r/China不合适你的帖子,/r/relationshiop /r/depression两个讨论栏也许靠谱。

[–]latermuse 7 points 2 days ago
This post is a failed satire of the state of foreigners in China.

[–]xuanxuan 6 points 2 days ago
It's Bitter Expat Girl undercover!

[–]nojusticenpeace 2 points 2 days ago
it's a repeat from a year ago or so

[–]babamcrib 3 points 2 days ago
You have the will to be better, that is half the battle. The other half is manning the fuck up and cutting the shit out.
"A man is not truly free if he cannot control himself."

[–]OOPC 4 points 2 days ago
Keep living the dream brother!

[–]TeaDrinkerToo 5 points 2 days ago
I dunno, you sound like a typical white man in China to me.

[–]JesusVonChristKTW  NKG 4 points 2 days ago
I'd say typical white man uses rubber.

[–]TeaDrinkerToo 1 point 2 days agoOh they do? ok.

[–]wiseduckling 2 points 2 days ago
I really do hope they do. I don't know about Beijing or Shanghai but in smaller cities it does seem like you often see the same girls chasing after foreigners. Couple that with the number of prostitutes that foreigners see here and it's a recipe for disaster.

[–]redforevaLos Angeles  Shanghai 1 point 2 days ago
Rubber is scarce for the white man in the middle kingdom.

[–]JesusVonChristKTW  NKG 3 points 2 days ago
Of course, every foreigner is hung like a moose.

[–]OrangeRiver 1 point 2 days ago
Watsons tends to stock all sizes. The only white men who don't have rubber are the ones who can't find a Watsons and establish a strategic reserve of condoms.

[–]2orangey4crowsfrom Dublin to Beijing 2 points 2 days ago
Nearly all the sex/cheating happens when I'm drunk.
By the sounds of it if you stopped drinking alcohol you could stop a lot of the problems...
Don't beat yourself up for making some mistakes. As another redditor said, lots of "white guys" go a bit wild in China.
Cut back on the alcohol (surely you can take a month's break from it?) and see what difference that makes. If you can't give it up for a month, you need to seriously consider the possibility that you are indeed an alcoholic.

[–]makemearedcapeNew Jersey -> Beijing 1 point 2 days ago
wear. Condoms.

[–]honggeMexico  Shanghai 2 points 2 days ago
"Sex addiction? Probably. Alcoholic? I don't think so" . . . I would write it the other way around...Sex addiction, I dont think so....Alcoholic, Probably.
“性爱成瘾?有可能。酒鬼?我不认为是”. . .我会这么写...性爱成瘾,我不认为是....酒鬼,有可能。

[–]Empath1999 2 points 2 days ago
You know, I'm not gonna tell you "Don't bang all of those girls" because really go ahead. I'm not gonna tell you "don't drink" and "don't neglect your health", BUT I will tell you this. If you make even one change, at least use condoms to prevent getting an std or them pregnant. Last thing you need to deal with is baby drama or burning balls. Because as much as you hate yourself now, you'll hate yourself even more when it burns everytime you try to take a leak or realize that you got a girl pregnant and aren't around to take care of your own kid.
我不是向你说教“别和女孩们风流”,因为真的就该继续干,我也不会跟你说“别喝酒”“别作践自己”这种话,而我要说的是,如果你要作出调整的话,至少戴套,预防性传播的疾病(Sex Transmitted Disease)和怀孕。最后你得处理好风流债,性病什么的。因为现在你已经很懊恼,以后你每当小便的时候,疼痛发作,或者一想到某个女人暗结珠胎,而不能去照顾自己的小孩,你会更加恨自己了。

[–]spolio 2 points 2 days ago
yeah sounds rough, so where do i apply?

[–]scumis -4 points 2 days ago*
dude, you are best suited for my user name "scum is you" (poor english for a different reason).
Get the fuck out of China, stop being a whiny little bitch. NO most people are not shit fuck you and stop trying to post here to get sympathy for you being the shit of expats in China and humanity.
my wife went back to her home town, it is easy as hell to get laid, do i? no, i am having a beer with my dog.
I don't want to give advice or sympathy to shit like you. get out of china and giving us a bad name you fucking slime ball
edit: I also want to add, i am glad you are becoming unhealthy (hopefully fat) and lose your job over your problems, and your girlfriend/s finding out and all dumping you for how much of a worthless shit you are
edit 2: you don't want to wear a condom? look at this [url]http://imgur.com/a/msZtf[/url]
if you still don't want to wear a condom after looking at that, then your dick literally must fall off.
also, one more thing, fuck you
补充2 :你连套都不想戴?瞧瞧这个图:[url]http://imgur.com/a/msZtf[/url]

[–]lpfader☆  wuhan 2 points 1 day ago
At least you got to have a beer with your dog. No one else wants to hang out with you.

[–]scumis -4 points 1 day ago
dude get a life and quit trolling me you fucking loser

[–]lpfader☆  wuhan 1 point 1 day ago
I actually really enjoy mocking you for being pathetic! Thank you for giving me this special feeling of both superiority and self righteousness. Nobody likes you. Not even your own wife. You need to drink alone in Chinafor fuck's sake. Oh man you're your own troll. I'm just an observer.

[–]scumis -2 points 17 hours ago
hmm... you win

[–]cleansanchez 1 point 8 hours ago
This guy is too angry to not be guilty of this himself or has absolutely no chance, for some reason, to act as OP has. I think most of us are somewhere in between OP or this tight ass, hopefully closer to OP.

[–]Dimeron 0 points 2 days ago*
As other has said, your foreign/white privilege showed you what kind of douche you really are deep inside. Nothing more needs to be said that hasn't already been posted.
Also just want to add, thanks for reinforcing douchbag loser expat stereotype. /s

[–]ridefastcarvehard 1 point 2 days ago
I'm probably gonna get down voted for this..
Are these women all Chinese/Japanese? Perhaps you should try and cheat on your girlfriend with someone from your own culture. You say you're treating women like objects? (and here is the controversial part) I'm kind of under the impression that chinese men are quite sexist (by anglo-american cultural norms, I can't really speak for other cultures) especially when you see the whole 撒娇, 太太 and the 'no car, no house, no marriage' thing, and so chinese women are used to being treated this way (a very general statement by the way). Also, it's hard to keep your head on straight when there are lots of women always at your finger tips.
Try finding a girl from your own culture, and then perhaps you will change your mind about women, as she will probably not like being treated that way. This is not a radical solution, so it might just work.
Keep drinking - drinking is awesome and you only have one more year until you go back. Unless you're drinking 白酒 or something by the bucket load. A few 青岛's a day won't do you much harm. MODERATION. Get a hobby if you're stuck for things to do (other than hiring prossies)
AND USE A CONDOM - I had a recent scare (results were negative), and I swear I will never not use one again. Keep a helmet on that soldier.
Self control 朋友

[–]rycanto 3 points 13 hours ago
And you made Shanghaiist. Congrats? [url]http://shanghaiist.com/2012/10/0[/url] ... t_user_who_is_c.php

[–]logboy -3 points 1 day ago
You're a piece of shit.
Human garbage.

匿名发表  用户名: 密码: 验证码:

美国译帖 - 热门推荐
双语美文 - 阅读榜
美国译帖 - 最新收录
国外优秀论坛 - 为您推荐
经验分享 - 阅读榜